Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize