Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
