Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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