Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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