so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
