I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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