Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
