the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's just like the Real World with babies
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
