dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
