So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
