I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
