We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
