i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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