How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
