That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
