i don't like sucking hair
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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