So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
