yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
