Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
