My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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