Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
