In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
