Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Found your dick twin last night
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
