im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
