With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
