Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
