At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just had sex bonerless
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
