I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
