I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
