i just google imaged poop.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
