is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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