My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
