Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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