My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this just has baby written all over it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
