i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
