I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
