should my penis look like a turkey
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Success! We fucked roommates!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
