how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
