my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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