I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
