ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
