i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
