You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
