I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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