it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize