I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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