She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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