True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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