Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
