eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize