Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
