What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
