Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just had sex on a roof
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
