I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
