It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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