Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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