5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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