please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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